Greece in September 2017

A group of AAC members aged from 58 to 78 had a wonderful trek on Mount Olympus and in the Zagora mountains where Bart entertained in the evenings with his version of Greek mythology. Here follows his tale.

CHAOS

The Greek gods came out of Chaos, or Brexit as it is known today. During Chaos a group of ancients were thrust upon an unsuspecting guide. For 16 days the ancients sorelv tested Tollis but, growing to admire each other, they created something special.

The group picture by Refugio C has Mount Olympus in the background
Photo by Phil Nion

TRAGEDY

Zeus had a number of lovers, one of whom was Kineesius. Together they had three sons, Davos, Rogerditie and Bartos. and a daughter, Arthrities.

Under the influence of Eros the brothers embarked on a spree of harassing the young women of Meteora. This went unnoticed for some time until Hermes heard of their behaviour. Some say they were displaying their bare legs to terrified local young ladies. Hera, Zeus' wife, flew to Olympus and told Zeus what was happening. Zeus threw some big rocks a long way and in an almighty rage summoned Kineesius. Kineesius and Arthrities, tired of this behaviour, hatched a plan. In Meteroa there existed many stone pillars rising up from mother earth; atop these were built, with the aid of EU grants, extravagant monasteries teeming with holy people striving to get close to their particular god. Kineesius, disguised as a nymph, enticed the three to a lofty monastery with the promise of an encounter with nine virgins. The boys climbed the pillar, burst into the entrance hall and immediately dropped their trousers fully exposing their knees. Instead of the expected virgins, the strange form of an eighty centimetre high penguin visibly, transformed into their mother. The boys, bare-kneed, open mouthed and exposed, begged for forgiveness. Most mothers will forgive their sons pretty much anything. Not Kineesius: she used her powers to turn their knees into a horrible knobbly form, much like some men's knees today, such that no woman would ever want to set eyes on them.

The trio were banished from the monastery forever or perhaps just for the afternoon, into the care of Tollis, the guide, who had some colourful fancy shorts for them to wear forever and a day, so exposing their terrible knees to the world. If they thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. Arthrities waited outside. As they walked past the ice cream van she burst forth, attacking their knees with the staff borrowed from Hermes, causing them considerable pain and discomfort that was to last into their old age. Never would they walk the mountains pain free again. Now that's the real tragedy.

Some of the above is true. The three were banished from the monastery, their knees are certainly not pain free and they were last seen wearing shorts.

Monastery on Meteora
Photo by Peter Clark

Outside Refugio C
Photo by Phil Nixon

TABLETS

Some suggest Tollis is descended from the gods but what is true is that Tollis loved his parents. They were proud of him despite him constantly wandering away from home. At first just short distances but then he began to explore further away, so that sometimes his parents would have to search for him. Tollis loved the countryside and the mountains and wanted to become a traveller, a guide, even a messenger. Frustrated, his parents gave in to his aspirations and gave him a small stone route finding tablet. This worked well and soon word of Tollis' guiding skills became well known. People came from afar to be guided afar by him ... and brought back safely of course. However, Tollis had become arrogant and careless and, one day high in the mountains, he dropped his tablet. Retrieving it he saw the cracked face. Disaster followed; Tollis' Iegendary guiding skills faded away, groups were misled, mislaid and lost, some for ever. Tollis realised that he had let himself down so asked Athena to help.

Athena took pity on our hero and related that she had heard of a lesser-god by the name of Stavos Job, living in a secluded quartz-lined valley. She heard he had developed an updated tablet with guiding and communicating properties. Stavos worked on the island of Iphonus. Tollis set out for Iphonus and arrived at the island's Gates where Bill took him to the Presentation room. There Stavos stood atop a magnificent stage telling his disciples about his new tablet. As Stavos finished, the crowd cheered and stood, left arms outstretched in unison with forefingers pointing towards Stavos giving him the highest form of adulation in the valley. Yes, the Power Point.

Tollis explained why he had come and Stavos explained that he had his top women making an upgraded tablet. Stavos took Tollis to their workshop. inside the pristine, white rooms were eight young ladies who turned and handed Tollis a gift, their latest creation ... yes, the iphonus 8.

Some of this is true; Tollis had an overused, cracked tablet and aspired to something better. Tollis loved his parents and they loved him. Also, the ancients were sometimes a little lost but perhaps that was just their age.

Line of Hikers
Photo by Phil Nixon

STATUS

Tollis' reputation grew; he rarely lost a group. He dearly wished to repay his parents by becoming the god of guides. He spoke to Hermes who set him the ultimate guiding challenge; taking a group of notoriously difficult ancients and guiding them over the mountains of Greece for 16 days. The decision as to Tollis' guide status would be decided by the ancients themselves.

For 16 days they travelled the most beautiful countryside Greece had to offer. However, Tollis never seemed able to satisfy, the disparate ancients. He entertained them with stories, protected them from wild dogs, bears and themselves and returned them to Thessaloniki largely intact. At the last supper, unsure what their final verdict would be, he granted a wish to each ancient. They spoke well of Tollis and stood to bestow the ultimate appreciation - the Power Point. Reliable Hermes bestowed on Tollis the god of guides' status he had longed for. Tollis gave a view of Greece, its history, people and countryside that will sit in memories for a long time. There were indeed bears and dogs and we did bestow on Apostollis a Power Point.

Bart at the junction in Vikos gorge
Photo by Phil Nixon

Dragon lake Zagora mountains
Photo by Peter Clarke

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